And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
