I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
