it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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