Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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