I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
