There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
