Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
