You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
