he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
