nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
