New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
smell my finger.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
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