I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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