tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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