I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
