So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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