jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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