Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Randomize
