So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
