You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
All the doctor said was why
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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