Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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