I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I don't think brook has ever known best
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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