girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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