p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
