How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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