i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
