She's JV to your varsity
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
