thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
