watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
