$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
