walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
He better not be in your backpack
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
