Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
