the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
