Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Operation Purity has been aborted
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
