got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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