I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
