well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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