If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
