I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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