I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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