wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So much Jack, so little girl.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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