How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
The uberlube is also flammable
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
