Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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