I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
