You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
That's when you crack a 10am beer
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
