there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
