If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
