Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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