Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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