Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
