Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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