I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
